This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
