she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
