I just gift wrapped bread.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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