Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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