Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
