So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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