She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Couch. On fire.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
