We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
