honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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