dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
