I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
