so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize