The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
