But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
