you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
