pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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