Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
