FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
