I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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