I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
