Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
