Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
