We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
