I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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