Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
