i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
