It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize