Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
