Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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