I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
