I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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