I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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