i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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