; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
