dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
