I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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