Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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