We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am one with the molecules
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
