You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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