I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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