And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
