forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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