people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
