Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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