Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
