Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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