I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
