my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
