just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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