You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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