im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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