she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
