What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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