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we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Success! We fucked roommates!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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