I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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