we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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