16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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